you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
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Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
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I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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