just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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