I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
