I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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