Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
