wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
