My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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