why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
