Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
