Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
