I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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