you would pick up someone in the library
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
