i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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