just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
not ubering you a puppy
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize