Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
So vagazzling was a success
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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