OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
