At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
