Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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