I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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