Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
