she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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