just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize