Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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