Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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