capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
