I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
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