Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
babies were throwing up all over the place
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
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I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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