I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Randomize
