wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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