I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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