You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
