so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
