Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
