Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
