i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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