I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
