actually, I'm a sock model
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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