It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
this will be a night to untag.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
