I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
A+ Viking dick
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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