Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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