i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
