I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize