Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
