Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize