just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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