OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
