Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
