For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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