Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
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Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
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Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize