idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize