I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
