He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
