My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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