Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
we're chasing vodka with high fives
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
