im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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