yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
