You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
