I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
