I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
