Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
