Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
