Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
