Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
