It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
