I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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